Monday’s are always a blast…a new week brings a new “to do” list.

Like many people with chronic illness, fighting with the insurance company to cover claims is a regular task. It’s a game really. I call this game “How bad do you really want it?”. Sad, really. Because in reality, fighting with someone to cover a procedure that you really don’t want to have in the first place – sucks! It’s like, please, approve my colonscopy, chemo infusion, brain scan, or insert other dreadful test here.

So I started out my day like any other day, you know my routine. But today I needed to call the insurance company about some claims and make a few appointments as well. I started with the insurance company. I am pleasantly (insert sarcastic laugh here) greeted by the worst sounding automated greeting ever. Please say your 186 digit ID number and press pound (for those under 20, pound is a hashtag #, lol!)  Twenty minutes later, I complete the request and Sally Static-a-lot repeats it back for confirmation. OK, correct. I am making progress. Next, please say your birthdate. I clearly say December 28, 1971. Sally repeats back. “You said your date of birth is September 28, 1921. Is that correct?” No Sally, that is not correct. Please repeat your date of birth. Again, December 28, 1971. Sally once again repeats September 28, 1921. Now I am getting aggrivated. I repeat once more in the most over enunciated fashion ever. Still, this dumb b%$ch gets it wrong. Now I start yelling CUSTOMER SERVICE. CUSTOMER SERVICE. CUSTOMER SERVICE. (Hint – this works with some systems. I think they realize you are a bit off and step it up at this point). Sally asks me to hold. I put the phone on speaker now realizing that it will be a while. I am kept entertained by a static riddled version of Barry Manilow’s Mandy. I have to say I kind of enjoyed that. Maybe they are right and I am a bit off. There is a break in the music, I am starting to get excited, the wait is over. I take the phone off speaker and put it to my ear, frantically say hello twice…and Johnny Matthis has now taken the phone hold stage. What the? I put the phone back on speaker again. We dance this little dance a few more times. I am really getting frustrated now. This time was different. There was a break in the music, I put the phone to my ear and…it is ringing. A person is actually going to answer my call and help me. I clear my throat ready to speak and grab my paperwork with a slight smile of relief on my face.

hold music

Then it happens – the ring stops..this is it…finally. And then I hear…beep beep. The bastards disconnected me. Are you freaking serious?! All of that…for this? It was like preparing for a bad date, shaving and all, even though you really didn’t want to go with the guy, and then he doesn’t show up!

It’s going to be one of those days. I hate Sally!

Woohoo! My life is a blog!