sad-student-clipart-hospital-clipart-confused_mother___hospital__clip_art__illustration_by_rabid__rabbit-d77f9xbWell…last week started just like any other week. And as far as most could see, it was. But, to those close to me, it was not at all “a normal week”. I was going about my normal tasks, however, I didn’t have my normal body strength. Let me tell you more about what I am now calling the week that I “lost time”.

Last week was a big week. My sister-in-law, Lisa, was getting married. I was so excited for the BIG day. I even had a part in the wedding. The rehearsal and dinner was on Thursday night and the wedding was on Friday. Thursday was an especially busy day for me. Kelsey had an appointment for a physical and immunizations for college for the fall and the dogs had a vet appointment for their shots.  My mom sensed the “I was a bit off” and decided that she would drive me to these appointments. Thank God she did!

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Everything I am about to tell you is not from my memory…NOT ONE SINGLE BIT! This has all been told to me over the course of the past week, a little bit at a time. Even as I write, Tim is helping to fill in the blanks for me.

On Thursday, my mom and I took the dogs for their appointment and then brought them back home. No clue. My mom just now told me that we went back into the room with the dogs for their exam and their shots. Apparently, I spoke intelligently to the doctors but I was tired. I started to get light-headed and went out into the waiting room for the rest of the visit. My mom said I looked exhausted and drained. Even now, as I type, I am still finding out facts about my “lost time”. This has to be the scariest thing that has ever happened to me.

After coming home from the vet, we left to pick Kelsey up from school for her appointment. I went into the doctor’s office with Kelsey. Once again, I spoke intelligently to the doctor, asked questions, and still…no recollection of the visit, the doctor we saw or anything about the appointment.

When we got home, I went right to sleep on the sofa. Tim reports that I slept for almost 2 hours. When he got home to pick me up for the rehearsal, I was asleep and wouldn’t get up. When I finally got up and realized I was making us late (we missed the rehearsal), I was very upset and crying. NOPE – don’t remember that either. I don’t even remember what I wore that night. I asked Tim – he’s amazing and I love him but he told me something black and white and a long sweater. Hmmmm….I know the sweater but was it leggings, a skirt, pajamas (I hope not!). We made it to the church and I cried right away because I felt bad I had missed the rehearsal. This is not a trait of mine! I am not much of a crier – and definitely not a public crier! What the hell is going on? Imagine all of this…I am finding this all out over the course of the last week – and even in the last five minutes. People telling me what I did and showing me texts I sent and it is as if I am hearing about someone else’s life. What is happening?

We went to dinner, no idea what I ate or where we were. In fact, Tim brought me back to the same restaurant this week. I went to the salon where I had my hair and makeup done for the wedding for a hair cut (they must have made an impression because I scheduled an appointment and it is an hour away). I walked into the salon and people were calling me by name and asking about the wedding. I didn’t know any of them. We went to the restaurant after, not one thing was familiar.

I know, you get it – I don’t remember a damn thing! But – do you get the extent of this? I will wrap up by saying the next day was the wedding. I don’t remember anything from that day either. I went and had my hair and makeup done with Lisa and the girls. Guess what I did after my appointment? I climbed into Tim’s SUV, next to my wheelchair (oh yeah – I had to use my wheelchair for two days because I was so unsteady!) and went to sleep! I went to sleep after having an updo and my makeup done in the back of an SUV, next to my freaking wheelchair, in a parking lot, with the back hatch open!!! Whether you know me or not, this is not something I would do! This isn’t something any woman would do!!! Do you get the extent of my “F’d upness?”

Ok – so fast forward to yesterday. After hearing all of the stuff that I had done and not known about – I thought it may be time to report this to my doctor. So, I did. She suggested going to the ER. So, I did. I had a slew of blood and urine work. I’m not pregnant! That was a close one! What a relief! I had a CT scan and an MRI. No tumor or full stroke. I need to follow up with the neurologist next week. But with the symptoms, it is likely that I suffered a mini stroke or a TIA {Transient Ischemic Attack}. This is harder to physically diagnose but the neurologist should be able to shed more light.

So, for all of you people out there doing drugs and drinking to get that feeling I just had – get the hell out of here!!! What is your problem??? You could not pay me to experience that again for five minutes. Appreciate the here and now. You never know how long you have to live in THIS MOMENT RIGHT NOW! ENJOY IT! LOVE YOUR LOVED ONES! LIVE LIFE TO THE FULLEST!!

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I thank my husband for standing by me and loving me every day, even the ones when I don’t even know he is there. You are my best friend and I love you more than you will ever know! And to my mom for always willing to drop everything to go or do whatever it is I need. And most of all to Tyler, Jake and Kelsey for being the reason that I will always come back. I love you all!

Woohoo! My life is a blog! Love and hugs to you all!