blessed

You know many times I find myself asking, Why Me? But not in the way you are thinking, I’m sure.

I woke up this morning and my stoma (hole where my feeding tube goes into my stomach) was so sore and I was a little bummed. But I took a second and looked around as I got out of bed and said asked myself, “Why me?”  Why am I blessed enough to be able to get myself out of this bed and be able to deal with this situation. Why am I so lucky to have great health insurance and live in an area surrounded by some of the best hospitals in the country? Yup! The pain sucks but why should I harp on that when I can focus on all of the blessings that surround me?

I have a house, it is small and I could complain about not having enough space, but this small house is a HOME. It is OUR HOME.  When my children and their friends or our family and friends are filling its small rooms, our house radiates love and there always seems to be enough room for everyone to feel at home. I have a small yard, I could never have a large garden or a pool, but on a fall morning, I can walk barefooted across the dew covered grass and hear the birds chirping and nothing else and suddenly my yard feels like it roams for acres and it is all the lawn I need.

I can’t eat all the food I want to eat, but I am so lucky that there is the technology to allow me to get all the nutrition my body needs via the feeding pump. Why me? I love to eat! Why is this disease taking something else away from me. And then I think…Why me? Hmmm…Why am I blessed enough to lose the ability to eat and to not lose my ability to see my children’s faces,to hear my husband’s voice or breath in the warm air?  Thank you Lord!

I am so blessed to have two amazing sons. I am so lucky that I was blessed with two beautiful pregnancies and births of the best two sons I could have ever dreamed of, all before my health changed a bit. Some women are diagnosed at a young age and are never able to conceive. So, with all of the things I’ve done wrong in my life, why me? How could I be lucky enough to have them? They are “my reason”. I thank God everyday for choosing me to be their mom. And to top it off, I have the daughter I never had in Kelsey. My maternal cup runneth over. 

I was a divorced mother until the age of 42. It is hard to date with a chronic illness. Why me? How am I going to meet a man when I am in and out of the hospital? I could be mad that most men didn’t want to be burdened with my health problems. But instead, I said, why NOT me and found the most amazing husband. He is my best friend, partner in crime, peanut butter to my jelly, caregiver when I’m sick, and even laughs at my dumb jokes. There are so many women in my situation that don’t have a partner. Why did I get so lucky to have a man to stick by me during chemo, thinks I look hot in a hospital gown and doesn’t get grossed out by my feeding tube…even when I do? I am blessed.

I was raised by a single mom, no dad around. Why me? But NO…my mom is the best mom in the world…all day, every day. She played mom and dad as needed throughout my whole life and I never felt slighted. It was never an easy job for her and still isn’t it, but she always has a smile on her face…ALWAYS! And when she couldn’t handle me for whatever reason (aka I was being a HUGE brat) I had my amazing uncles to step in and make me stay in the hospital when I needed to, give the firm “talking to” that I often needed in my teen years. Why me? I grew up in a broken home. HA! Broken home? I don’t think so! Why did I get so lucky to be blessed with the BEST mom in the world with the BEST uncles in the world and more parent figures than any other kid I knew. I was one loved kid!

As an adult, I have been so fortunate to have friends who are family and family who are friends. I hope that makes sense. It truly is the only way I can describe it. You know who you are…you touch my life each and every day with your love, guidance, support, advice and friendship. You all play different roles…all beyond important to me.

My heart and life overflows with love and respect for the people in my world that God has so carefully hand selected for me along the way. Why me? Why not me? Thank you God for blessing me with the ability to see the beauty in all situations that you have placed me in. Only you could create these story lines.

Thank you friends! I love you all!

Woohoo! My life is a blog!