Sometimes as a tubie, the spirit is willing but…that Sunday dinner looks amazing!

I get a little over confident sometimes and will try to eat something like a normal person. You know, in the mouth, chew and swallow. Easy enough, right? Not for a tubie! The doctors encourage me to eat soft food when/if I can handle it. 9.99% of the ten times, the result is the same. Face in the toilet bowl, followed by a gastric relief drain bag. I have 2 tubes. The G (gastric) tube is for draining anything I need to from my stomach. The J (jejunal) tube goes straight to my small intestine. That is how I “eat”. The formula goes straight to my intestines. Except for when I get ballsy (or just plain stupid) and eat food through my mouth like a normal person…eat, chew, swallow…ugh…vomit. It is kind of like borrowing food. Never really getting to hang on to it. I know it’s gross! Believe me, I gross myself out!

Since I feed into my intestines, my stomach is ALWAYS empty and ALWAYS hungry. It is not a fun feeling. You would think I’d look like a model but the formula is very calorie dense. Imagine that shit?! You don’t get to eat but you can actually gain weight from formula that you are never satisfied from and never taste. By the way, it’s vanilla flavor. Uh…why? I can’t taste it. Kelsey once tasted it and said it wasn’t bad. Brave girl! I just can’t do it. I don’t know about you, but if I am going to watch my butt grow, I would like to have the memory of a delicious steak dinner and/or a great, big hot fudge sundae with whipped cream, walnuts and a cherry…maybe 2 cherries…ah hell…3!

Oh…quick car update…STILL have a rental. I’m told Tuesday is THE day I should be able to wrap up all of this car drama. We’ll see, I’m still being told my car is perfectly fine. I told them if it so fine…they shouldn’t mind if I trade it in and they put it on their lot! Fingers crossed!

So as I sit and blog, I drain, and watch the Sixth Sense. Great movie!!! “I see dead people”. It gets me every time. But as for me, I look around the room at my family and think…I see FED people. Ugh! If only.

Hope you all had a great weekend!

Woohoo! My life is a blog!